We are in the middle of an intense collective shift (written March 25, 2025) – at the heart of this change, like everything on our planet, is vibration. So, when we talk about self-sabotage, it’s important to identify what’s being sabotaged – a raise in vibration. When we make any kind of change, our vibration also changes. When we go back on a positive change, we call it self-sabotage. As we walk away from old habits and patterns, into more intentional choices and aligned action, the body and vibration calibrate to a new frequency that allows us to attract new relationships and experiences. It’s a delicate shift. The key to lasting change is recognizing that, even at a higher vibration, there are bumps. Speed bumps suggest that we slow down – choose our reaction. What it doesn’t ask is that we turn back down the same road we came.
Where does self-sabotage start?
Self-sabotage follows an important change you’ve made. It’s an attempt to return to the familiar after following your heart, listening to your body and following the energy of your soul. When you make a positive change, it can be euphoric. But fear creeps in, like a siren in the dead of night, and calls us back to outdated versions of ourselves.
I know this, why do I still do it?
Be gentle with yourself. A vibrational change has the power to shift everything in your life. Change is good. But it’s very hard on the mind and nervous system to experience contraction after the fullness of expansion. A lot of people won’t even start because, at some level, they already know that being at a higher vibration will require the people and circumstances in their life to follow suit or to be replaced.
Your first negative emotions after raising your frequency can feel physically unsafe. Usually, the first thing to challenge your new state is an old, familiar trigger. Once you feel your nervous system relax into a solid foundation, being brought out of it can feel like a dangerous threat to your new way of being. It can feel like a war is waging inside your very body. There’s panic. We’ve been taught to control and to numb. It’s no surprise that your first instinct is to cope in the same way you’ve always done. The mind touts predictability. Don’t fall for it.
Make a plan.
When embarking on something that has a lot of passion or energy behind it, sit down first. Write down old habits that may come up during this process that you would use to cope and the emotions that would accompany them. Write down why you’re choosing to no longer function in that way. Then write the new emotions you’re ready to replace them with, how you choose to view yourself, and what you’ll do instead when faced with a challenge. It doesn’t mean you won’t have negative emotions. But, when you react in a healthy way, they don’t threaten your new state of being.
Put the plan in MOTION.
This will look different for everyone. Replace the old habit with one that feels good. It should reaffirm the positive truth of your being, instead of a negative belief. Doing something that is harmful to you affirms a fallacy, lack of worth, to bring the negative belief into the physical.
If you hold pain around body image – maybe you want to get a massage, to feel fully embodied again. If you’ve quit smoking, consider thai chi to open the heart and lungs. If you cope with alcohol, ask yourself, why? Then do whatever is most loving for that part of yourself. Don’t wait to look up the massage therapist, the videos that will help you cope, etc. Find them now. Have them ready and in place.
Ask yourself if it feels safe to feel well in your body.
This is especially important for anyone who’s spent years in fight-or-flight. Anyone whose nervous system is highly dysregulated. The path is not linear for anyone. But when you’re unfamiliar with feeling good being safe, it takes a whole lotta extra self-love to rise above old patterns. In my experience, body work is essential (acupuncture, somatics, massage, etc.). The right therapist can change your life. Energy work will help create the foundation of truth for all of your systems to work together.
Don’t give up.
Even after you level up, you’ll have contractions. There are important energetics behind making big shifts. When the nervous system relaxes into a solid foundation, some will go into high alert because they have not learned to find safety inside of joy. Others revel in it, but the moment that they’re brought back into a lesson, they run back to old coping mechanisms.
There’s much truth about ourselves in contraction. It’s a gift when something comes back and asks to be treated in a new way. If it still triggers you, that part of yourself is asking for more love. What it does not want is a physical reaction that is harmful to your body and vibration. Affirm your worth by having a plan and choosing how this new version of you handles a situation that old you wasn’t ready for. You are ready to handle things in a new way. Go forward, beautiful soul, the earth and every single person in this Universe thanks you for it.
